We’ve all been the mom or dad walking through target with a screaming kid and a dead look in our eye; I just want to get my crap and get out. Here are 3 times my dear son has made me wish I left him at home.
3. The F word
Our vocabulary isn’t quite the cleanest. My husband is a sailor and they don’t say “mouth like a sailor” for nothing. Well, one of the perks of having a toddler is a having a miniature version of yourself, language and all. I was just trying to get a couple things from the grocery store while my son is screaming the F word at the top of his lungs Everytime he dropped his toy on the floor. You can just imagine the amount of dirty looks I got from elderly ladies.
2. Hey Girl
Another fun grocery shopping experience because they’re never dull. We were at Target and my son kept waving and flirting with a girl in her mid twenties behind us in the check out line. She was wearing heals and a very short body con dress with some lace patterned nylons on. My husband sets Liam down and he started talking up a storm, no big deal. She was sweet and talked back so I wasn’t too worried about Liam bothering her. She turned around to load her stuff onto the conveyer belt as I was paying for our stuff and I looked over in horror. My sweet child ran over and smacked her on the butt when she bent over. I was mortified but she laughed and assured me it was quite alright.
1. Where the hell are your pants?
The title is exactly what you think. There is an indoor park at a mall close to our house that we take Liam to when it’s too cold to play outside. It doesn’t have much, just a slide, a tunnel and some other aquatic themed things to climb on (it was donated by the aquarium so they have a whole theme). Liam was playing in the tunnel and there weren’t a lot of other kids there so I zoned out for a minute, literally. When I decided to check on him the whole 5 feet away from me he was missing something. You guessed it; his pants. And then he ran out of the tunnel and proceeded to run circles in the play area until I finally caught him. All of the other parents were laughing and it really isn’t that bad but if he was a year older it wouldn’t be as funny!
Those are my top 3 and of course I don’t need to include every time he screamed for not getting his way out and about because we have all been there!